My First Piece of Food Writing Ever (and Other Things Related to Iguanas)

No, my first piece of food writing doesn't involve eating iguanas. I've never eaten iguanas, in fact, but I've seen them for sale at Savenor's. Although an enthusiastic meat eater, I'll never eat something that I've had as a pet...except for fish. That's different somehow. Here's me looking super awesome at some point in the mid-nineties, hanging out with Iggy!

Anyway, a top secret band project sent me digging through pieces of writing from my childhood, and I resurrected a bound and laminated fifth grade writing book which included many assignments from the year. Towards the end of the book, I found what must be my first piece of food writing ever, a review of the now-defunct Iguana Cantina. (Actually, the place was already defunct at the time I wrote this.)

Wow. I'm particularly fond of the fact that I used the phrase "wonderful restaurant" three times. Also, "I try not to eat fries"? Who was I?? My favorite part is how I tell the reader, hey, this is a great restaurant...but it doesn't exist anymore! (Picture almost-eleven-year-old me sticking out my tongue at you here.)

In this same binder of fifth grade writing, I found an amazingly horrible poem called...Iguana! I might have been a little bit obsessed. Nearly everything in here was about iguanas or cats. My very first AOL screenname was IguanaCat! (The best part of this booklet is the short story entitled The Day my [sic] Stuffed Cats Came Alive, an epic adventure taking place in the Cattalachians, in which I battle dogs, who have allied with fish, mice, and birds to take over Catland.)

Anyways, enough about Catland. I have to share this iguana poem with you. (By the way, I think the assignment was to imitate the structure of an existing poem. Any ideas what this could be modeled on? I can't remember, and now it's driving me crazy!)

Poor defenseless iguana. Your toothless bites don't hurt at all.

And now for one last iguana-related item: my aforementioned band, The Michael J. Epstein Memorial Library, has recently been awarded a $2000 grant from the Passim Iguana Music Fund! This will allow us to finish our debut CD without artistic compromise.

In that vein, I'm going to sneak in a bit of self-promo spam here. Our CD release show is at The Middle East (downstairs!) on Saturday, February 26th. We currently have a great deal going on where you can buy a ticket for the show, plus our CD, plus a digital download of the CD, plus an extra special surprise gift from band! If you're interested, please visit the following links:

• Buy a show ticket + CD (presale) + other goodies for $15!
• Skip the show but order a CD (presale)
• Oh, you want to hear us before showering us with money? Yeah, that's understandable. We have a few demos (partially mixed, not yet mastered) for you to check out:

I'm playing flute, oboe, and piccolo (plus some background vocals, rain stick, and hand claps!)  By the way, my lovely food friends, there's a rumor that we might be playing a set at the Somerville Winter Farmers Market at some point. I'll keep you updated.

Don't forget...